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Outlander The year is 1945 Claire Randall, a former combat nurse, is just back from the war and reunited with her husband on a second honeymoon when she walks through a standing stone in one of the ancient circles that dot the British Isles Suddenly she is a Sassenach an outlander in a Scotland torn by war and raiding border clans in the year of Our Lord1743.Hurled back in time by forces she cannot understand, Claire is catapulted into the intrigues of lairds and spies that may threaten her life, and shatter her heart For here James Fraser, a gallant young Scots warrior, shows her a love so absolute that Claire becomes a woman torn between fidelity and desire and between two vastly different men in two irreconcilable lives. Contains SPOILERS I was lying in a hospital bed with my leg broken, and once the library trolley came for a round of books, anyone , my hand was in the air in no time Too late did the librarian notice the foreign literature on my bedside table and with a distraught expression try to recover Outlander I said firmly Oh no, Madam, I ll read that Just enough time left for her to make up with a tome of controversial French literature on the genocide in RuandaBut as I d said my first mission was Outlander.Anyway, it could not be that bad, since I d seen it sold by the local bookclub before.Ah yes, it could After some forty pages, my jaw dropped in disbelief, after some hundred pages the case was as good as closed But then, to tell the truth, Ms Gabaldon s warped morals kept me going.Because this brave woman has achieved what I never thought could be done she has fabricated some catholically correct porn.Let me point that out Claire, pretty much a Mary Jane on the first few pages her lovely we know it is, curly and unruly, though she claims it is not hair is described at length, and did you know she can heal people Oh yes, and Did you know she has a spitfire personality, but everybody likes her in spite of that, well not the women, but then, they re either jealous or uptight or both is by some zing of the time space continuum catapulted back to the Scotland of yore, without her husband goodlooking, sensitive, a savant , but never mind, she finds some replacement in her husband s evil ancestor looks just like him , who s just as much into Claire, but unfortunately lacks the morals to please and guts to take it up with Ms Spitfire.This proves to be helpful in forgetting husband 1, handy, since soon Claire arouses the ardour of a young, proud and good looking Scotsman, Jamie, who, if a bit on the simple side, is as true as gold, not to mention built like.well yes and just one twist of fate later, they find themselves exchanging vows Note The good never have extra marital sex in this book, that s for the evil and sluggish.Surprise upon surprise, actually Jamie is a virgin on their wedding night, but with a few leads, quickly gets into his role Matrimony turns into a sacrament what would otherwise be a sin , or so it goes.In the following, this sacrament is bestowed upon darling Claire with unnerving frequency, about every two pages, but it only gets really colourful if preceded by conjugal beating Claire did something bad, Claire has to be punished, yes, she herself aknowledges this in the end, or attempts of strangers or evil husband to rape her.Yes, and of course, after Jamie has de facto been raped and tortured by evil husband He s so desolate Evil husband forced Jamie into actually enjoying the experience This is not right, Jamie is straight, Jamie is disgusted by himself But Claire does some sexual healing and re enactment and pouf To top this off, in the end Claire learns from a monk that de facto both her marriages are considered valid by the church, since the one with Jamie precedes the one back in the 20th century.Most distasteful because of the wifebeating episode and the fact that homosexuality is shown as an evil trait adherent to the evil guy some young kid with a bible hung himself because of this, strange enough, female victims of rape are not half as suicidal in this book So we repeat No sex without marriage Woman has to obey man Otherwise she gets into trouble, and he has to punish her Homosexuals among the evil only.Any questions had there been the possibility to bestow 0 stars on this concoction, ah well. I gave up on this book because I was sustaining permanent damage from reading it and I was afraid I d start hitting back And it s a borrowed copy, so that wouldn t be cool.In fairness, I should say there s a lot of good writing here I really enjoyed the beginning chapters They even kind of cracked me up, because I have friends who love genealogy and their husbands always get that look when they start talking about it and that s exactly how I imagined Claire looking when her husband Frank started droning on and on about his ancestors.And Claire is a nurse, which is a really good transportable skill if you re going to be thrown back in time which it turns out Claire is Sorry Spoiler alert Can you imagine if you were one of those Nerds On Wheels computer repair people and you got sent to eighteenth century Scotland You d be totally screwed.But Claire s skills come in handy without seeming out of place A woman who s a dab hand at healing is always welcome in Olden Tymes, so Claire is able to land on her feet and kind of get a job once she figures out what happened to her and comes to terms with it.Which is pretty much immediately Which is when the book started to lose me There s, like, no culture shock whatsoever She gets knocked back two hundred years or so She goes, WHOA What the flimminy She starts being The Lady To Go To With Your Eighteenth Century Scottish Boo Boos That s it There are a few mentions of things like how shoes fit differently back then and anachronistic language, but there s no sense of the kind of thing a person from the future would be startled by Not the food, not the weird underwear, nothing Claire just settles in and starts being the resident nurse at a castle She keeps half an eye out for a chance to get to the place that can take her back to the future, but it has all the deep emotional urgency that I feel when I really should stop by the grocery store on the way home but it won t kill anybody if I go tomorrow instead Like, whatevs Still, there was plenty to keep me interested Like leeches The stuff about leeches was cool And the info about healing herbs And that kid getting his ear hammered to a board because he was caught stealing.Really, this book would have worked fine for me if it hadn t been for what everybody else seems to love about it, which is the Romantic Interest Which still would have been fine, even with the whole SHE S MARRIED ALREADY thingy But, okay let s say that she has to marry that guy They aren t in love when they get married and so the whole point of the book is to watch their relationship develop, while Claire struggles with guilt and fear and thoughts of how her real husband must be worrying about her and how the heck does time travel work in this book and WHY IS SHE JUST ASSUMING THAT TIME IS GOING BY IN THE FUTURE AT THE SAME RATE IT IS FOR HER WHY, I ASK YOU Sorry I m a minor league nerd, and this part really bugged me So what I just described would have been a book I could read and enjoy, or at least read and not scream in pain But apparently someone gave Diana Gabaldon the creepiest piece of writing advice EVER, and it was this Listen you know how if you re cooking and you re worried it s not turning out very well, just add bacon if it s savory and chocolate chips if it s sweet and everybody ll love it Well, if you re working on your first novel and you don t know what to have happen next, just throw in some rape Or attempted rape Works like a charm She follows this advice to the letter, and I m sorry but I have to go home now I managed to read the she disobeys him so he beats her with his belt scene I almost punched the book right in the face, but as I said, it s a friend s copy so I had to be nice.Then I managed to get through the she forgives him for the beating, like, the next freakin day scene I started fantasizing about this book getting stuck in the elevator of a burning building, but I was able to hold on and keep going Then there was the scene where Big Kilted Oaf I mean, Jamie starts laughing about the whole beating thing and reminiscing about how hot she looked when he was holding her down beating the crap out of her and she forgives him for that, too Like, instantly And I m all, WHO AM I AND WHAT AM I DOING HERE And still I staggered on Heaven only knows why And how did the author reward me for my perseverance What is this book all about What s the recurring literary theme Rape Attempted rape More attempted rape Marital rape A little marital rape Conversations about rape GIGGLING during conversations about rape And I m all, I M OUT OF HERE AND I DON T CARE HOW MANY OF MY FRIENDS HATE ME I read 444 pages in a row, plus I skimmed a lot of the rest of it including the creepiest, rapiest Chekhov s gun I ve ever seen fired Do NOT tell me I didn t give this book a fair chance I TOTALLY DID.In case you need proof, here s a list of all the things I learned about rape from Outlander.1 It s a bummer for the woman involved, but save your sympathy for her brother Assuming you have any emotional response at all, which you won t if you re Claire Jamie tells Claire about his sister Jenny being raped by a dastardly redcoat He has a good chuckle talking about how Jenny punches and kicks her attacker She isn t able to hold him off forever, though And Jamie gets flogged for trying to defend her Claire s response I m sorry It must have been terrible for you It is terrible for Jamie to have his sister dishonor herself wi such scum Nice So terrible that he can t bring himself to go back home to her when he gets out of prison, and see her again, after what happened She s impregnated by the rape Left on her own both emotionally and financially, she is forced to become the mistress of another English soldier Jamie finally sends her what money he can, but can t bring himself to write to her Because, you know, what could I say Claire s response Oh, dear Really how could I give up on this book when the main character is so sympathetic 2 Rape can lead to comically inaccurate ideas about how people do the nasty After Jamie and Claire consummate their marriage, Jamie confesses that he didna realize that ye did it face to face I thought ye must do it the back way, like like horses, ye know Claire tries to keep a straight face as she asks him why on earth he thought that I saw a man take a woman plain, once, out in the open But thatwell, it was a rape, was what it was, and he took her from the back It made some impression on me, and as I say, it s just the idea stuck So of course Claire flips out and asks him what the heck that was all about Who was it Why was he witness to a rape out in the open Was he able to help the woman What happened to her Oh Wait This is Claire the Emotionless She doesn t ask him anything, and he doesn t say anything else on the subject Instead, they cuddle and talk about how much fun what they just did was Because a story about rape out in the open is just the kind of pillow talk a woman wants to hear when she s relaxing after a nice bout of bigamy I mentioned I loved this book, right I didn t Good.3 Nearly getting raped turns you on for Mr Right Jamie and Claire are off on their own in the woods for a spot of marital bliss when they re set upon by highwaymen Claire is nearly raped, but manages to kill her assailant Yes, she was a nurse during World War II, but I think there s a difference between witnessing violence and inflicting it yourself She kills the guy in the nick of time He s on top of her, so she undoubtedly gets his blood all over her Meanwhile, Jamie manages to dispatch the other two guys.And then Claire flips out about the fact that she was just attacked, and she had to kill a guy, and she had to kill a guy at close quarters with a knife.Oh Wait This is Claire She has no response to any of this, now or later Well, she does have one response When I put my hands on his shoulders, he pulled me hard against his chest with a sound midway between a groan and a sob We took each other then, in a savage, urgent silence, thrusting fiercely and finishing within moments.If your marital love life has been a bit blah lately, why not get attacked and then kill the guy It ll spice things right up 4 It s not rape if it s your husband and he promises he ll hurry Jamie Not here I said, squirming away and pushing my skirt down again Are ye tired, Sassenach he asked with concern Dinna worry, I won t take long next page He took a firm grip on my shoulders with both hands Be quiet, Sassenach, he said with authority It isna going to take verra long I gather it s especially not rape if your husband has an ethnic slur nickname for you He should use this at least three times a page Yes, Sassenach is derogatory It d be like if you were white and your husband called you his little gringo Although that would actually be kind of funny if he s white, too I think I want to get my husband to start calling me that now But I digress 5 or if it s your husband and he just really, really wants it.Claire is saying no, and no again She s still in pain from the last time they did it, because he didn t take no for an answer even when she told him quite honestly he was hurting her So how does our romantic lead respond James Fraser was not a man to take no for an answer Gentle he would be, denied he would not.I quoted that last line to my husband, and he got the same look on his face that I had on mine all through a two day bout with food poisoning.If this book works for you, fine I m not here to judge I m just asking that you understand how completely creeped out I was by all this, and not tell me I didn t give it a fair chance I did I really hate not finishing a book once I start it, but I just couldn t stand it any. Quick question if this book has a quarter of a million ratings and still maintains an average rating of 4.13, why the hell are the most popular reviews the snarky, mean spirited, one or two star reviews That doesn t match up at all with what I d assume would be the case, which is that most people who read this book LOVED IT Including me Please, people If you enjoy a book, click like on the good reviews as well That s what people see first when they look for reviews on Goodreadsthe ones with the most popularity, or likes Sad that this amazing book s two most populare and therefore most visible reviews are not in keeping with most people s thoughts Ye are Blood of my Blood, and Bone of my Bone.I give ye my Body, that we Two might be One.I give ye my Spirit, til our Life shall be Done SUMMARY Claire is happily married She and her husband are visiting Scotland and soaking up the history while indulging in some much needed time alone One morning, they are witness to a group of women performing a ritual at a nearby stone circle They should have been ridiculous, and perhaps they were A collection of women in bedsheets, many of them stout and far from agile, parading in circles on top of a hill but the hair prickled on the back of my neck at the sound of their call The modern witches at the stone circlespooky and oh, such a good mood setter Claire returns to the circle later I wonder if she felt called to that magical place, as if fate had plans for her and she was simply following her destiny.The tallest stone of the circle was cleft, with a vertical split dividing the two massive pieces Without warning, and for no apparent reason, Claire is whisked back to the year 1743.I could say that my field of vision contracted to a single dark spot, then disappeared altogether, leaving not darkness, but a bright void I could say that I felt as though I were spinning or as though I were being pulled inside out All these things are true, yet none of them conveys the sense I had of complete disruption, of being slammed very had against something that wasn t there There she meets James Fraser, a man who is as complex as their relationship turns out to be Claire never stops trying to get back home, but this world of the past and her present is slowly beginning to sink into her She must now decide between remaining faithful to a man she may never see again, or conceding to the realization that she will forever remain in this time, with this fascinating man who has become her fiercest protector It s pure craziness to me how this book can be summed up in a couple of paragraphs And it s both detrimental and beneficial that a summary simply cannot encompass the sheer scope of heart that is in these pages I was absolutely unprepared.Why detrimental Because the details did become tedious, even as they were adding to the story The downtimeinstead of a time of building anticipation, became a time of hurry up and wait This is the only reason that I can t give this five starsbecause, for a couple hundred pages, I was a wee bit bored And I hope that my saying this won t keep someone from reading it I wish that I didn t have to mention it, but in order to be fair and honest, I feel like it s necessary, if only to keep someone s expectations from becoming too high And to be totally confusing, it s the details that drag you down into the middle of the eighteenth century, the minor secondary plots that make you live this life for awhile So I m not certain that they weren t necessary I do wish that we got of Claire dealing with the mundane things, but she just never seems bothered enough with inconveniences to mention them.I don t want to do much of a character breakdown except for maybe the three big key players in this story Claire You re no verra sensible, Sassenach, but I like ye fine Oh boy I had heard that a lot of people didn t like Claire at first And to be quite honest, for most of the book I really DID like her She was fairly steadfast to her husbandalthough circumstances bieng what they were, it would have been nearly impossible for her to stay that way This was a fascinating look into what it must have been like for a woman back in those times Not quite the Dark Ages but boy, they were a far cry from modern women s rights This was a time of witch burnings and mob mentality Imagine what it would be like to go back to these times, knowing what we know now, remembering what took place in history, and being scared to death to be female You re completely at the mercy of the men you are with Thank goodness Claire stumbled upon Jamie.Her character did fluctuate for me, for obvious reasons I had a few minor hiccups with how wishy washy she was at times, and how little she seemed to think about how her actions would affect Jamie However, view spoiler I do think that she had no idea how passionately Jamie felt for her until near the very end So why would she feel the need to constantly spare his feelings and put him first hide spoiler A special note to those who say my review stopped them from reading this book No no no Read it I actually reread the whole series last summer and enjoyed it immensely Just read it for what it is ludicrous, well written, humorous, delicious TRASH Just don t expect it to be the most brilliant novel ever written and you ll be fine.How To Commit Adultery Without Being a Cheap Slutty Whore A QA by Diana GabaldonQ I love my husband but I m feeling kind of restless But adultery is wrong So what do I do A Easy Go back in time Q What do you mean, Ms Gabaldon A If you go back in time, your husband hasn t been born yet So you can have wild and crazy SM sex with impunity.Q But won t I still be married to him A Aren t you listening He hasn t been BORN yet So you aren t married But if you are really being such a stickler, then just have someone force you to get married to someone else.Q But, but, no one can force me to get married against my will A Okay, let me lay it out for you You re really hot for this sexy warrior barbarian guy, right I know this, because you stop thinking about your husband about 24 hours after you ve been dropped in this guy s arms So you get in this situation where some obscure tribal law insists you have to get married, make a little protest, sign some papers, and voila Q But that doesn t mean I have to sleep with him.A Oh but you do, because some random dude insists that you have to Don t worry, the sex will be great even though he s a 23 year old virgin So you see, you HAVE to do it, so it s okay.Q But isn t it a sin A Fine, find a priest at the end of the book to absolve you, whatever And anyway, it s okay because your husband basically told you it was okay, right before you were whisked back in time Seriously, go for it When else will you get the chance You ve been married for years You deserve a little hot and heavy barbarian action.Q So what s this hot barbarian guy like A Well, watch out, because he loves to reminisce about how his dad used to beat him and how wonderful that was And he really gets off on beating you, but it s just the once Oh, and it seems that he wants you so badly he can t restrain from ramming you repeatedly with his male member while telling you how much he can t restrain himself and that gets seriously annoying after the twentieth time But otherwise, it s all good.Q Anything else I should be aware of A Surprise Buttsex But not for you, so it s okay.Oddly, I m going to read the next one in the series Because I m bizarrely fascinated It s like a train wreck.Edit 1 Someone in the comments said I should copy this into the review, so here you go Plot SummaryClaire I love my husband I love sex Frank But it s okay if you have sex with someone else, in certain circumstances.Standing Stones SUCK Ha ha, you re in another time The Anti Frank Ooooh, I think I will rape you.Claire Eeek Clansmen Scots to the rescue Here, meet Jamie and his manly manhood.Jamie Och, aye, I m a tough laddie And I m going to kill the Anti Frank for beating the shit outta of me and raping my sister.Claire Ooooh, he s cute Hey, wasn t I married Dougal Ye have to marry the laddie to get away from the Anti Frank.Claire Okay.Dougal And ye have to have sex wit him.Claire Mmmmm but well, okay.Jamie I m a virgin Oooh, but I love sticking my manhood in ye It s like a sacrament and all.Claire I should get back to Frank, I think I will take this opportunity to run away I guess sort of meh.The Anti Frank Ha ha Found you Now to rape you Jamie Och, that s my wee lassie First I m going to rescue her, then I m going to beat her for disobeying me And then I m going to tell her about how me Da beat me and how much I liked it.Jealous wench The village witch is looking for you.Claire Okay Villagers She s a witch Burn her Jamie Over my dead body Claire Honey, I have something to tell you I m not a witch butJamie Ye must go back Claire I can t I long for your manhood too much It s a manhood like no other.The Anti Frank I too long for your manhood I think I will bugger you right after I crush your hand with a hammer But, I love you You remind me of my dead brother Here s some grease.Jamie Ouch Oooh, but that feels sort of good Och, I m so ashamed.Claire We must rescue Jamie Send in the cows Jamie OCH Me hand Just let me die Claire Never Let s go to France.Jamie Och, aye lassie, I feel much better now.Father Anselm God says it s okay that you re a bigamist.Claire Awesome Time to use my foreknowledge of past events for good Diana Gabaldon The sequel will be 900 pages.Finis

  • Mass Market Paperback
  • 850 pages
  • Outlander
  • Diana Gabaldon
  • English
  • 07 February 2017
  • 9780440242949

About the Author: Diana Gabaldon

Diana Jean Gabaldon Watkins grew up in Flagstaff, Arizona and is of Mexican American and English descent She has earned three degrees a B.S in Zoology, a M.S in Marine Biology, and a Ph.D in Ecology.She currently lives in Scottsdale, Arizona.

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